Max is now 3 months and 4 weeks old (he'll be 4 months on Dec. 4th), and it is amazing how much he has changed since a year ago today. He grew from a tiny little ball of growing cells to this handsome little boy that I get to raise. At nearly 4 months old, we've seen his personality start to take shape from a lump of a baby to a kid who responds to us, smiles, practices "talking" and tries out new sounds. Who has mastered the art of blowing raspberries and growing a spit bubble beard. He reaches for things he wants, pulls at our hair, shows us that he wants to play airplane. Fusses when he's hungry and lets us know that we've kept him up too late. He lights up when Grandma walks in to the room each morning, and his love for her is so clear and genuine, that it makes going to work and leaving him with her all day that much easier.
Being a working mom has been easier and more difficult than I had anticipated. It has become easier to leave him every morning, but the isolation that pumping brings on at work has been more difficult to deal with (though that has definitely gotten better over time). I am proud that I have managed to integrate breastfeeding into our lives as seamlessly as possible. I don't know if I would still be breastfeeding and pumping if it wasn't for the support from Luke, my family, and friends who have also found success in breastfeeding. I didn't realize how pumping would take over every break I had while at work, keeping me from truly being able to reconnect with my coworkers, and how much I would miss out on by locking my door and eating lunch by myself every day. I cherish my weekends and the full days I get to spend with him even more than I did while on maternity leave. I didn't realize that I would still have days where I would cry when I thought about leaving him for work the next day.
I love that our friends have accepted Max into our circle, and they love him and dote on him as much as we do.
Maxwell has made me a better person, and because of him, I have had to really pick out the most important parts of life to focus on, and not get hung up on the not-so important things.
It's been one hell of a year already, and I'm excited and terrified to see what the next year has in store for us.
